ER
i started feeling some pain on the right side of my abdomen tuesday night. i threw up, had some tea and felt better but the pain came back the next morning. it grew more and more intense as the day progressed. it was so bad after lunch that i couldn’t move. Jose thought it was appendicitis. my mother thought it was gallstones. and i thought i was going to lose my mind. i finally decided i should go to the emergency room but my boss was in a meeting. when he came back, i tried to tell him i had to go to the hospital, but i had waited too long and the feared panic attack didn’t let me explain myself. as i stood by my desk trying to figure out what i needed to do, he said “let’s go. i’ll drive you.” i felt winonna ryder’s pain in reality bites – “isn’t there a statute of limitations for embarrasing incidents ?” as i remembered the last time i went to the ER. i was cycling with my boss and fell off my bike. he drove me to the ER (sound familiar ?) and was in the room when the triage nurse asked for the onset of my last menstrual cycle to which i had to respond truthfully “six months ago” and then explain “no i am not pregnant” – i’m just a freak of nature. agh ! statute of limitations ? what statute ?
i arrived at the ER around 4pm. i was the only patient there – woohoo ! so i was taken to my “curtain room” rather quickly. i was by myself for a few hours – getting poked with nenedles, watching TV and chatting with the nice nurses. i was told i’d need a cat scan. so i had to drink some nasty potion. my nurse mixed it with yummy OJ and lots of ice so it wasn’t so bad. my boss came back around 5pm. yay ! i wasn’t alone anymore. but hating hospitals myself and knowing that’s the last place anyone who isn’t sick wants to be, i urged him to go home. Jose got there shortly after that and started calling everyone with the news – boys ! soon Laura and J got there to keep me company while Jose went out for a bite. the radiologist finally came to get me. he started making fun of my funky monkey socks. he didn’t believe i was a computer programmer. he thought i had too much “personality” and asked if i was really a nurse or a teacher. around 10pm my doctor finally came back and said “there’s nothing wrong with you so we are sending you home.” i feared that. what a waste of time ! at least i know there’s nothing wrong with me.
